Unplugged Challenge Review

I was all set to tell you that my Unplugged Challenge was a complete success. Amazing, transcending experience. Then my mom asked how it was without TV all weekend. Huh? Oh. Right. TV. I actually didn't consider TV to be a problem for me, which is why I didn't think about it during my challenge. I can't decide if I should have included that or not because I really only watch TV while I fold laundry and an hour or so at night to unwind with Ryan. Hmm...

But other than the TV aspect...The Unplugged Challenge was a success! As I mentioned this past week, my phone and computer were beginning to be an escape tactic from doing what needed to be done whether it was sweep the kitchen floor or get Henry dressed before 10 a.m.  I challenged myself to unplug and really connect with my family.

I did allow myself a little time at night to write, but that was it. By not checking my email every five minutes or logging on Facebook every time I wanted a distraction from Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, I started to create better habits.

For example:

• Rather than check my email for the 3495th time while Henry watched Backyardigans (OMG. I would rather have a pap smear with a toilet brush than watch that show), I turned the TV off. We played with a cardboard box instead. Sing one of your lame ass songs about that, Bonequesha or whatever the pink one's name is. 

dear nickelodeon, thanks for the image

kill the show.

• Instead of pinning everything in sight on Pinterest while Henry ate his breakfast, I got rid of a stack of magazines. (But not People's Royal Wedding issue. I will never get rid of that. Kate Middleton is one lucky wench). 

• Instead of checking Facebook at traffic lights, I talked to Henry. Pointed out all the trucks and vans. This resulted in a vigorous, "Whassat?"interrogation and Henry demanded to know what everything was although, to be honest, I'm not really sure what he's looking for here. Type of vehicle? Color? Make? Model? 
• I got in the bathroom, and I got out. I don't think I need to go into too much detail here, but I consider my bathroom trips just that-- a trip. It's an infinitesimal vacation in the middle of my day where I shut the door and have a moment of peace (if I'm lucky), so this was a tough area to remain unplugged. 

As a result:

• I've had more of a chance to connect with my family. Ryan and I have just been stupid. Cracking jokes and giving each other wet willies. 
• Henry has learned new words, which, ok-- may have happened with or without me unplugging, but I like to think it helped. He now says "Beebee" for Mickey and "Oh no", and "bees" for please (but only under extreme duress). I'm sure Mitsubishi and Hyundai are next.
• My house is getting cleanish. I know I will never reach Martha Stewart status, but I actually LIVE in my house. I'm there about 18 hours a day. Oh, and I have a dog, a cat, and a toddler. I know the three of them come up with diabolical schemes every day on how to add to my list of work. It goes like this: Henry plots to shake an apple juice box on the carpet while the cat vomits in the hallway and George jumps on the counter and tears open a bag of bread.

props to the MTGO Academy for this image. please don't sue me.

If you would like to try an unplugged challenge (sans TV), here are my tips:

1. Give yourself an hour every day to go on the Internet for "choice time"- Choice time is code for do whatever the f you want. Give yourself an hour to pay bills, check email, or load pictures. If you are really hardcore you can skip this step. Just pay your bills, though.

2. Keep your phone away from you- This is key, especially if you have a smart phone. You will be less inclined to tweet or pin or whatever if your phone isn't near you. I kept mine on a table in the foyer or upstairs hallway so that I could hear it if it rang, but it wasn't on me. Plus, the jury's still out on this one, but I've done some research and studies show it could be harmful to your health to keep your phone on you.

3. Delete or hide any apps that are triggers- I like to think of this as the equivalent of throwing out junk food when you're trying to lose weight. Out of sight, out of mind.

4. Do stuff- You know. Stuff you're supposed to be doing. Stop trying to escape, dummy. Do your laundry! Take a shower! Clean out the fridge! Go to the gym! It's like after a break up--and you are breaking up in a way--just keep yourself busy.

What am I leaving out?

Weekend Photo Roll

I LOVE Memorial Day Weekend. It really is the unofficial start to summer. When Ryan and I were first married, we always went somewhere cool. Cool meaning somewhere out of the DC Metro area. As we got older, we stayed closer and closer to home because the traffic is unbearable. I think it goes without saying that now that we have Henry, we stay put, but I couldn't be happier. We still go swimming, still get tans, and go to as many BBQs as possible. Just no traffic!

For those of you dying to know the answer to my little clues, here goes:

As soon as we put Henry in the pool on Saturday, he went ape shit. He LOVES water, so naturally he LOVES the pool. He loves the pool so much he wants to BE the pool and drinks as much water as he possibly can without attracting the ire of his parents.

We hadn't been at the pool for an hour when a mother took one of her twin baby girls in the pool and the precious lamb spit-up in the pool. It was not a surprise when Henry shat out a poop bomb the size of Hiroshima about three hours later. Before that, though, he climbed up on a chair to check out the girls in the polka-dot bikinis. That's my boy.

With great struggle comes great reward.

Tough life.

Gigi, Ryan, and H-Dawg.

We finally had to call it a day when Henry threw a catastrophic fit when I wouldn't let him go off the diving boards. No, seriously.

First time on a hammock. Incidentally, this is also about an hour before he shat himself.

Sunday we went to my sister-in-law's house in D.C. Henry insisted on throwing himself down this hill to roll down it. Instead, he ended up doing a face plant or five. And loved every second of it.

The fam.

Henry did not eat any dinner, but he did steal three brownies. I don't want to talk about it.

Paw Paw, Opa, and Nana relaxing Monday

My husband, Burt Reynolds--I mean-- Ryan. Love those shorts.

The best thing about this weekend? Ryan made breakfast for me every day. Omelets with bacon. Oh, yeah. I'm a lucky lady.

Check back tomorrow, and I'll let you know how I did with the unplugged challenge along with some tips as to how you can try my challenge too.

Still Unplugged

Just checking in. Still unplugged. More on that later.

Here are some clues as to what will be included in tomorrow's post:

spit-up
polka dot bikinis
poop bomb
brownies
diving boards
bacon
face plant

Oh, and okay. Here's one picture.

$1 million Shrute bucks to whoever comes up with the most accurate story.

23 Ideas for Entertaining Toddlers in the Summer

Now that summer is upon us, I feel a greater urge to get Henry out of the house. Thank GOD the pool has finally opened because that is always an option. Unfortunately, the pool doesn't open until 11 or 12 when Henry goes down for his nap. So, my biggest problem is entertaining Henry between the hours of 7 a.m. and 11 a.m. After I've fed him breakfast, there is a feeling of anxiety that creeps over me because I have NO IDEA what to do with him for five hours.


In an effort to rid myself of this anxiety, I spent several days investigating what to do with him. Pinterest was no help here. Most of the things I find to do for him are either A) too advanced for him or B) don't entertain him long enough to be worth the set up and clean up time.
Take, for example, this Pinterest project:

The pinner said her 2 yo son was entertained for an hour. My son was entertained for fifteen minutes. You see what I'm dealing with here? 

After extensive research, I've put together a list and now I'm posting it here to share with you. Feel free to give me more ideas. I'm willing to try anything. It doesn't have to be between the hours of 7 a.m. and  11 a.m. either. It rains sometimes. :)

 1. Vacation Bible School: I didn't have any luck finding any up here that take 2 y/os, but it could be an option for you.

2. Library Events: Our library has free events, but you have to be on the ball with signing up because they go fast. I've set my alarm so that I can be first. Make sure you take your child to an event s/he is old enough. Remember my experience? 

3. Parks Classes: There are some great programs in our parks & recreation magazine for the summer. Registration started May 15 for ours, and I think they fill up fast, so get on it! There's an obstacle course/music/sing-along class that meets 1x a week for 8 weeks for $80 that I signed Henry up for. Bonus that the rec center has a new spray park we can go to afterward and still be home in time for him to take a nap.

4. Meet-up groups/Moms Club/MOPS: Depending on where you live, there should be at least ONE of these groups. I know MOPS does not meet in the summer, but my chapter still has summer events planned, thankfully! Moms Clubs are great, despite some of The Moms, because they are often divided up by age. Even if they aren't, there's almost always a Veteran Mom who can tell you how to get your kid to eat/potty train/etc.

5. Soccer Tots: Believe it or not, there are actually some sports available for kids under 3. The one in our area is a little too far and a little too pricey for me to consider, but it could be an option for you.

6. Preschool Summer Camps: Again, Henry isn't old enough for the few I've looked into, but it could be an option for you!

7. KinderCare Summer Camp: I've been playing phone tag with this lady, but I'm not sure if it's a flexible, leisurely, once or twice a week camp. I know the camp is 12 weeks long, but I don't know if there is a sliding scale depending on the frequency and length of time you bring your kid. 

8. Zoo: Even though Henry's already been to the zoo about 5 times in the two years he's been here with us, it doesn't mean that he doesn't enjoy it every time. This picture on the top was taken at the zoo in Lexington, South Carolina where you get to feed the giraffes! The other picture was taken yesterday. Henry went to the National Zoo with his GiGi and Aunt Heather and was "very well behaved." Ha. Ha. Ha.

9. Museums: Most metropolitan cities have some kind of museum and most museums have some kind of children's exhibits. Even if they don't, your little person will still get a kick out of the museum. Trust me, if Henry was entertained, your child will be entertained. One of the things to do on my docket this summer is to go to the actual Children's Museum at National Harbor. If you're lucky, you'll have one of those near you.

10. Aquarium: Make sure you check the hours of operation to work around your toddler's nap schedule. Also, see if there are any exhibits of feeding times. These are great times to go if you can swing it.

11. Monuments: I'm committed to going to as many monuments as I can while we live in the area. The thing I'll have to keep in mind is when taking Henry, the monument will have to allow a) screaming b) snacking c) running. It will also have to be somewhat entertaining or I may as well do another Pinterest Fail Project. The Washington Monument is not on our radar, but I snapped this pic on our way to the aquarium. Possible DC options for us are: FDR memorial (lots of things to touch, water there), Lincoln (stairs=fun for Henry, pain for Mommy), WWII Memorial (there's water there I think?), the Mall (reflecting pool). 

12. Chuck-e-Cheese's and/or Monkey Joe's: We took Henry once on a rainy day. He loved the toddler section, but only liked one ride. Forget the games, he was more into putting the token into the slot. He took a crucial nap afterward. Thank God.

13. Inflatable houses: Henry is DEATHLY afraid of all moon bounces and air tracks, but your kid might dig it.

14. Strawberry picking: I listed this with some trepidation because I'm not entirely sure that my 23 month old will be able to do this or even interested. He did enjoy apple picking (picture shown below) even if he did just pick rotten apples up off the ground. Plus, there might be a great playground like there was at this orchard.

15. Playdates: Don't underestimate the power of a playdate with a friend. I'm going to try and meet up with my friends more and their kids. If your friend lives further away, consider meeting halfway at a park somewhere. This website is awesome for helping you figure out what's halfway AND what's close by. Here's a picture of Henry with his best and (once was) only friend, Mr. Duckie (not his real name, but so cute), Ms. Mess's son. I forgot to take pictures of their most recent get together.

16. PetSmart or PetCo: Kids love animals. I'm sure it's a good way to teach them all the different animals. Just do not, I repeat, DO NOT come home with a gerbil/hamster/fish/bird/cat. You need another being to take care of like you need another pair of flip-flops. Stop it, crazy. 

17. Petting zoos: I have yet to take Henry yet, but I think he'll love it. It's like getting to touch all the animals he wants. He's going to go nuts.

18. Local parks and playgrounds: Dude. Take a minute and look up what parks there are near you and GO, for the love. I kept hearing about this playground, Clemyjontri (named after the founder's four kids), and finally went. Henry was entertained for two hours. That should sell you right there. I just had to get directions and plan it out. We went bright and early, which is good because people almost started fighting over my parking spot when I left. I took a video for my sister-in-law, so that's who this video is for. 

19. Nature Centers: This one was suggested by the husband. Apparently, there are nature centers in our area and apparently they often bring in owls and snakes and stuff. It's on the summer docket.


20. Fairs/Carnivals: I'm not just talking about those scary fairs in mall parking lots. I'm talking about Renaissance fairs and "Family Fun" type fairs. In my experience there's always some kind of live music and games. Just watch out for carnies.


21. $1 Movies: Ms. Mess gave me this idea, and I think it's perfect for a rainy day. Google $1 movies and your location and you should be given a list of locations near you. There's usually at least one family-friendly movie showing. If your kid hates the movie, no big. You only paid $2.


22. Movies Under the Moon: I hesitate to even use this as an example. In fact, don't even count this one. If you Google Movies under the Moon, you should be able to find a spot near you. There's often some kind of pre-movie entertainment even if it is laughing at the teenagers "secretly" getting drunk off of Boone's Farm a few rows up. Sometimes there are ice cream vendors if you're lucky. Possible concerns: your child hating the movie, losing your child because he hates the movie and there are 233,987 children running around in the same Carter's outfit, getting so frazzled you steal the aforementioned teenagers' Boone's Farm and end up with a wild hangover. Anyway, you're not going to see a lick of the movie, so just know that going in.


23. Your own backyard: Do something cool. My sister-in-law got me a bubble machine, which was great because I don't have to hyperventilate blowing bubbles anymore. I also bought a $5 baby pool at Target. I got a spray tube that Henry can kind of use from the dollar store. My sister-in-law also got Henry a splash and play table. Some kids dig sidewalk chalk. Do it. Whatever. With Henry, anything involving water is great. Enjoy a little day in paradise!

So there it is. My list of things to do with your toddler this summer. If you think of anything else, let me know! There are about 90 days of summer, give or take, so... I'm all ears. 

Unplugged Challenge

I've never been a good housekeeper. It's not that I don't like a clean house, it's just that I'm very compulsive. When I clean the house, I CLEAN THE HOUSE, but the mood has to strike me. Example: two weeks ago, I did three loads of laundry, swept and mopped the floors, wrote and sent 8 thank you cards, paid bills, changed sheets on all the beds, and unloaded and loaded the dishwasher. A bronze medal day in the life of a stay at home mom. Problem is, this mood doesn't strike me very often. I believe the next day I cleaned out my closet and guest room closet and discovered space bags, so, naturally, the house returned to its natural state. In one day. It's infuriating.

(It bothers me that there is no question mark at the end of this question even if it is rhetorical).

I've noticed, however, that my compulsion to clean/workout/be a responsible human being is affected in direct proportion by how much time I'm spending on the internet. Duh. I'd always thought that I had my habit under control. I only check my email while Henry is eating. I only pin while he's playing/watching TV. I only tweet when I'm on the toilet. (go ahead and judge, but you do it too). When Ryan came home, I was immediately pissed off at how he was checking his email while Henry was playing. C'mon! You've been home for like five minutes and you're already checking email? Play with your son! Then I realized I was guilty too. Ouch. 

If I'm being completely honest, I usually stretch these "free moments" to the point where Henry is annoyed or I look at the clock and panic because Ryan's going to be home any minute and I have nothing ready for dinner.

Guilty.

As a result, I've decided to put a lid on it. I'm going cold turkey this weekend. No tweeting. No checking facebook. No pinning anything. (gulp). I will only give myself an hour at night to blog about my adventure. From then on, I will give myself an hour to spend online in the morning while I'm drinking coffee and Henry is eating breakfast. I'll give myself an hour at night after Henry is in bed as well. Ok, maybe a little more time at night. We'll have to play that one by ear. 

The point of the challenge is to be a better mom and a better wife. I need to stop getting distracted by the internet and lock it up. 

Remember, I don't hate cleaning. I just enjoy other things (ie: Pinterest, blog reading) more. I am adult enough to say enough is enough. This weekend I'll be totally and completely present with my family even if it kills me. 

Single Mom Day 3

I think up until last night I'd been okay with Ryan gone, but then the shit hit the fan. Or should I say the piss hit the bed. And the vomit hit the floor.

Henry woke up yesterday and puked all over himself. I attribute it to all the water he drank while playing out back in the baby pool. Of course, he got it all over himself, the bed and the floor. Awesome. And in my rush to get to our playgroup, I loaded the dryer but didn't start it. This was problematic when I needed to load the washing machine with sheets that Henry peed on... I blame myself. Who puts a naked toddler on her bed while going to get his diaper? This girl does. Idiot.

Needless to say, after a late night cleaning sheets, pillows, blankets and a comforter, I woke up bright and early to go to the laundromat.

Weeeeeeeee!

Occupying a toddler in a laundromat for 25 minutes is a special type of hell. Also awful is hauling that mattress pillow top in and out with a stroller. Weee!

Anyways, Ryan showed up around 3 o'clock, and the house was a mess, I hadn't showered, and nothing was thawing for dinner. Welcome home!

Ryan's absence definitely gave me a little perspective. First, single moms have the hardest job on the planet. Period. Second, as much as I tell myself that I do everything around here, I do not. Ryan actually does a lot. Don't tell him that, though.

Single Mom Day 2

As I mentioned yesterday, in an attempt to keep Henry busy, especially while Ryan's away, I had a new playgroup to go to with Henry today. I am not sure what I expected, but I walked away feeling... well, neutral. Not psyched about the next playdate, but not dreading it either. Let's just say that while Henry had a blast, I didn't exactly hit it off with everyone. I suppose the chemistry of a playgroup is a precarious balance of personalities--and I'm not just talking about the kids.

You see, Hollywood has actually done a pretty good job of portraying the stereotypical moms. In my two years as a mother, I've encountered The Granola Mom, The Laid-back Mom, The Helicopter Mom--a close relative of The Germaphobe Mom-- The Glamamom, who is the antithesis of The Schlumpadinka Mom, and The Opinionated Mom. There are many more, I'm sure. I'll just remember when I spot one and I'll have to update my list. The only way movies have gotten it wrong is that they've exaggerated the intensity of the moms, when in reality, real moms are usually a mix of stereotypes. I, for example, am a gentle blend of Laid-back, Granola and Opinionated Mom.

At today's playdate I was more concerned about how I was going to get along with the other Moms and less about Henry getting along with the other toddlers. Thankfully, most of the moms were an unthreatening blend, just like me. Except one. This one particular mom was quite The Opinionated Mom (and a touch of Schlumpadinka if you ask me).

I'm all for opinions, even ones that differ from my own, but I know my audience. I don't preach and I certainly don't tell you that you're doing something wrong. I accept that what works for me, doesn't work for everyone. The danger of being an Opinionated Mom is that you need to check yourself when you get a bit judgy. That's why, "what works for me, doesn't work for everybody" is kind of my mantra. I'm only consider myself Opinionated because I research practically everything I do with Henry before making a decision. I have no idea what I'm doing, so I consult every book I can to make sure I don't screw Henry up for life. (Somewhere out there The Veteran Mom is laughing at me).

Anyways, I digress. So Opinionated Mom seemed harmless enough in her baggy T-Shirt, smudged glasses, and mom jeans. That is, until I mentioned Henry was going to preschool in September.

"Why is he going to preschool?"

How do you answer that? Why do kids go to preschool to begin with?

So I answered, "To develop his socialization, help him become more verbal, learn how to interact with others..."

I trailed off because her eyebrows started shooting up.

"Well, that's what this group is for" Blank stare from me.

Not knowing how to respond, I changed the subject to Henry's big boy room. Sigh. Mistake. Opinion there as well. My books are wrong. Henry should be able to have free reign of his room.  Change subject to potty training. Again, mistake. I'm starting too early despite the ample research I've done and Henry all but pulling his pants down and sitting on the potty to show me he's ready.

Despite my encounter with The Opinionated Mom, the other women seem really sweet albeit a bit mean for not warning me about her. Next playgroup, I swear, I'm going to avoid her like I avoid visible pantylines. Because there's one thing I'm not, and it's Put-up-with-Your-Shit Mom. I'd hate to be kicked out of playgroup so early.

Single Mom Day 1

Ryan got this great new job a few weeks ago, but along with the perks (better $, iPad, iPhone4S, laptop, closer commute), come the cons (travel... that's it so far). I'm a terrible cook and housekeeper to begin with, so not having anyone to help me with that and having to take care of Henry 24/7 is kind of a dagger. I don't know how moms have a real job. Props to you, ladies!

As if having Ryan out of town wasn't bad enough, the weather has turned from a sunny, gorgeous 78 degrees to a miserable, rainy, humid 70 degrees. Read: No nature walks. No playgrounds. No blowing bubbles naked in the backyard. Neat.

Thankfully, I thought ahead and had signed Henry up for a free morning event at the library. So after a quick visit to Petco (I was running out of ideas to occupy him beforehand), we settled in.

There's a hamster in there, I swear.

Mother Goose. Obviously.

I am all about singing songs and getting into costumes, but this lady had no helpers. This is a problem when you have a room full of toddlers and preschoolers. Seeing as though I lied about Henry's age to get him into the free event anyway, Henry was interested in oh, about 10 minutes of the program (oh, please. He'll be 2 in almost a month, so it wasn't really a stretch to say he is already 2).

Henry did not care for the costuming portion of the show.

Needless to say, the event wasn't exactly a success for us. We headed out after a half hour because Henry got bored and kept trying to go up and peek behind the screen. That's my boy!

Tomorrow we have our first playdate with our new playgroup. Here's hoping it's a group with plenty of boys.

Family Field Trip: DC Aquarium edition

Lately, I've been wanting to pull my hair out because I'm sick to death of going to the same crappy playground in my neighborhood and same walking trail. I am fairly certain Henry feels the same way. I also feel like we don't do enough cool things as a family. We go shopping. If we get really crazy, we go to Petsmart. If only there were something a family could do together in the DC area... oh, wait.

Now, I've lived in the DC Metro area for 17 years, and I can count the monuments, museums, and attractions I've been to on two hands. Barely. Unless you count bars, and then I don't have enough appendages. I wanted to go somewhere that none of us had been to, which was quite easy for Henry and I, but not for Ryan since he's lived here since first grade and his mom was an elementary school teacher and educational trips were a monthly event. And then it hit me: the Aquarium!

The DC National Aquarium pales in comparison to the National Aquarium in Baltimore, which seems a bit misleading if you ask me. However, I was not looking for a day long event. We needed to be able to go and be back in under three hours. It would take three hours just to go through the Aquarium in Baltimore, so the DC aquarium was perfect.

Also perfect? Henry loves trains and this was his first trip on the metro!

No tears on this trip! It took a little longer, and Ryan insisted on Cloroxing everything and Wet Wiping Henry every 10 minutes, but it was totally worth it!

When we got there, Henry was a wild man. The size of the DC aquarium was perfect for just letting him run loose. Of course, Mr. Marine Biologist Daddy decided to teach Henry what each tank contained.

Henry looking at the electric eel. 

A stingray. Watch out for that tail! 

All in all, it was a great first family field trip. I'm going to make a concerted effort to do cool stuff with the family and, you know. Get around this city I live so close to.