Pneuroses

I stopped writing because I really didn't know what I wanted this blog to be about. Everything I've read about blogs says that you need to have a purpose and not try to cover too many specialized areas of interest. I don't know if trying to cover my adventures of being a clueless mom, rookie personal financer, and hopeless dieter & exerciser really is specialized, but my inability to feel confident about this blog is a symptom of something bigger I'm struggling with.

I am indecisive. I'm impulsive. I am also a bit of a perfectionist. I was always told to "do it right the first time", so if I can't do it right, I don't do it at all. These maladies are why I fail at almost everything I attempt. I start something, lose steam, become unsure of myself and whether or not to just keep going, but eventually give up because I've already screwed up, and I need to "do it right". What's worse, is that right now I'm paralyzed by neuroses and can't get started on anything because I just can't deal with failing or quitting something again.

As a result, I've hit a plateau with the baby weight loss. My house is a mess. I can't start taking control of my finances. I'm 29 and still haven't started writing the novel I've always wanted to write. My son's baby book is untouched--he's 10 months old now. I could go on, but I'm depressing myself just thinking about all my shortcomings.

The days feel like they are flying by, and I'm watching them as a bystander.

I don't know how to fix this.