New Year's Bash...?

Diet Coke: 1
Hours of Sleep: 4
Cookies: 1... plus 2 pieces of chocolate and 1 bowl of ice cream. Eww. I hate myself.
Money Spent: $70... but maybe a lot more depending on insurance. We'll see.

I have never experienced such a sad thing as a sick child. Seriously. It is heart breaking. Yesterday, Bean woke me up around 5:30 a.m. with this barking cough. I wanted to cry because I felt entirely responsible. I have been feeling sick for days and the only way he could have gotten sick was from me. Needless to say, we spent the day in pajamas and watched Zac Efron in Charlie St. Cloud. I see what all the fuss is about, but don't tell Ryan.

Last night was not much better. Even though Bean went to bed at 9, I couldn't sleep. I ALWAYS think of that line from Collective Soul's song, "Runaway Train" on nights like that: "So tired that I couldn't even sleep..." That was me. Hate that. I think I dropped off around 1 and Bean woke up at 5 again. With a barking cough again. So sad. Ryan and I have spent the day watching movies and playing with Henry. I had anticipated spending more time contemplating my resolutions a la Gretchen Rubin style, but like Voltaire said: "Don't let the perfect be the enemy of the good". Like Nike said: "Just Do It".

Resolutions:
1. Cuss Less- I cuss like a drunken, angry sailor in a strip club with his mates. I have a child. This is bad.
2. Take care of ME- Just because I have a baby, doesn't mean I have to look like Buzz's girlfriend. Woof.
3. Drink Less- I average two beers a night. This is borderline alcoholism, right? At first it was out of necessity. Now it's out of habit.
4. Work Out More- Meaning at least 3 times a week. Preferably 4, but the more the better.
5. Be Nicer to Ryan- I have a very short fuse and he (and the dog, George) have a tendency of being at the receiving end of my anger. Poor boys.
6. Tackle one nagging task a week- there are so many liiiittttlllle things that I put off because they are tedious and I'd rather be watching the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills than complete them. Seriously though, at some point you have to take the trash out, you know?
7. Get a Handle on My $- I can't afford not to be more mindful of where all the money is going.

I think it's a formidable, but feasible challenge. We'll see how it goes, right?

Here's to the happiest of years!

Bean, in one of my Target finds, says Happy New Year!

Target Touche!

Diet Cokes: 2
Cookies: 0, but, I've replaced my cookie problem with chocolate. 3 pieces today.
Money Spent: $80

Today, Ryan and I divided and conquered so that I was finally able to cross some things off my to-do list. Ryan returned a garbage can that's been sitting in our kitchen for a month and some hideous baby clothes while I returned a few repeat toys Henry got for Christmas. I have to say, I think I had the most success.

Henry scored some awesome clothes. The pjs were $4, the onesie $2, the shirt $1, the socks $5. Score, huh?

I've been watching a lot of shows about hoarding and OCD, and I've learned that you have to be careful about needs versus wants and having room for things. When Henry got a few repeat presents, I knew I needed to get them out of the house quickly in order to get the maximum amount of money to use toward things he does need. I got all this stuff--brand new-- for about $13. That's pretty awesome. I also got him new white onesies by trading in ones that were too small for him.

Nothing special, but I didn't pay a cent for them. Notice they are for 24 months. However, according to Gerber, that's  28 pounds, so Henry will fit them in approximately 1 month, I'm sure.

And moi? I've recovered from my Tiffany's meltdown and bought those Target flats I'd been contemplating buying. They are a wee bit snug in the toe, but I think they'll stretch a bit.

There are a few things left to return, exchange, and/or fix, but I figure I'll save those for a day in the near future when I'll be dying for an excuse to get out of the house. For now, I'm going to focus on taking care of all this cool stuff I got for me and Henry.

Wretched Returns

Diet Coke: 1.5
Cookies: 3
Money Spent: $100 or so

Well, we did it. Ryan, Henry and I ventured out to return and exchange a few things and, while not a total nightmare, was about as stress-free as a cavity filling.

We stopped by DSW so that Ryan could exchange a pair of shoes EXCEPT Ryan found out too late that his shoes ACTUALLY came from Macy's. Neat. So off we went to Tyson's Corner Mall and, as anyone who has an infant will know, shopping, no matter how seemingly easy, is never quick nor simple. Luckily, shopping with two people and an infant is a million times easier than with only one person. While Ryan exchanged his 7 jeans--did I mention he's metro?--I went to feed Henry.

A quick diversion about breastfeeding in public. Never fun. Never something you want to do. I have nothing against women who thoughtlessly whip out their boob to feed, but it's something I just don't feel comfortable with and I'm sure other aren't comfortable witnessing. Unless I'm surrounded by women who've breastfed themselves, I'd prefer to keep it under wraps, so to speak. Thankfully, the women's bathroom at Nordstrom has a lounge and we only had one woman who walked in and quickly scuttled away after realizing what I was up to.

With Henry fed, we set off to Ann Taylor so that I could exchange my big girl clothes for fat girl clothes. Unfortunately, they were all out of fat girl clothes, so I had to just accept merchandise credit. Which I did with my tail between my legs because I didn't want Ryan to suspect that it bothered me. Crestfallen, I set off to Macy's so that Ryan could get his shoes and cologne. What a shitshow. Shopping two days after Christmas with an infant is my own personal hell. People see a stroller and seem to think I am agile and able to quickly maneuver out of their way. Bastards.



Now. The coup de grace was Tiffany's. Ryan got me the Bean necklace for a Christmas gift and late push present. (I called Henry Bean from the day I learned I was pregnant, so the Bean necklace was perfect. I will nickname our next baby Yurman). Of course the necklace he got me was more like a choker than a necklace, so I had to get a longer chain. When I walked in, there was a man standing at the door with a list. I put my name on the list and enjoyed looking around at all the gorgeous jewelry. For 20 minutes. After that, I was done. Ryan was in the car with Henry, and I was starving. 40 minutes later, I finally heard my name called. A lovely woman came to help me, but after I told her I just needed a longer chain, she sent me to customer service. Where there was another line. I immediately started crying and ran out of the store. I mean, REALLY!?!?! I'm still not sure what I could've done differently to have avoided that wait, but needless to say I came home and drank a beer. And then two more.

Anyone have a similar nightmare? Were you as stupid as me to have brought an infant with you?

Christmas Crash

Diet Cokes: 1
Cookies: 1
Money Spent: none... yet.

Presents are opened, dinners have been eaten,  and the inevitable Christmas crash is here. I am fighting a cold and PRAYING Henry doesn't get sick. He's had a little bit of a runny nose and has this weird red eye thing going on, but I put the humidifier on, so I'm hoping that keeps him from getting sick.

I've been sick while taking care of a baby before, and it is not fun. It's so hard because the smallest task, like changing a diaper, take all the effort I can muster. Needless to say, I have been taking lots of naps and drinking lots of tea, which is soothing in itself.

But the real crash is the post-holiday blues. You know the feeling? It's almost anti-climactic/nothing to look forward to feeling? Now that I've written that, it looks like I'm depressed, but it's not that! It's just that you spend all this time looking forward to this one day, and it's over so fast!

I guess I will focus on the good things to look forward to instead! One thing that's awesome is all the Christmas money we received. As you may know, my imaginary readers, we only have one income, so the Christmas money is going to really come in handy. I was a little worried how we were going to pay our HOA fees for this quarter, but that's solved! We can also pay off our Home Depot card and still have a little money to play with.

I'm considering doing some shoe shopping. I need a new pair of black ballet flats, so I'm considering these:
Ballet Flats
They're less than $15, so what's the big deal, right? Well, I've bought some shoes from Target before that pinch and I never wear them, so it's like taking money and lighting it on fire. Really irksome.

I'm also considering these:
Boots

I feel like they are more motorcycle than riding, though.  I really want these:
Steve Madden Boots

But they're $130! Ouch. I have them in the cognac color and, supposedly, you can wear them with black, but I don't know how I feel about that... Kayley Heeringa pulls it off, but I feel like it would look like an accident rather than intentional if I did it.

So we'll see. Ryan, Henry, and I are going to brave the malls tomorrow to take a few things back and get new stuff, so I guess I do have something to look forward to after all.

No Rest for the Weary

Diet Cokes: 0
Cookies: 0
Hours of Sleep: 4.5, in and out hours

I have a cajillion things to do today, but I am running on fumes and don't even know where to begin. I need to decide on an outfit, my mom wants me to come over, I have 24 tarts to make, and I have to wrap a holiday present. In 9 hours. I guess it's a good thing Henry woke up early today.

Locking it Up

Weight: 10 lbs. to pre-pregnancy weight (PPW)
Money spent today: Almost $200... pre-party preparations
Cookies: 3?
Exercise: None, are you joking?

Ok, so it's 11 o'clock at night and, really, I should be sleeping. Let's be honest, sleep is a precious commodity to me and tomorrow I have gifts to wrap, tarts to bake, an outfit to put together {and squeeze into}, so I should be sleeping.

But I can't. Nope. I have done what I do all too often. I have spent too much time farting around on the internet and have now been inspired to do something that I may or may not really follow through with. This time it's to keep up with my "blog". If you can call it that. I have no followers. I don't *really* know what I'm doing. Or why? Why keep a blog? Do I want people to read what I'm really thinking? Do I want to show people this much of my life?

Well. Yes. Because I am convinced there are more people like me who are broke and/or raising a child and/or trying to lose weight and/or have had a dream to do something interesting, dammit. So I don't know what this is going to look like. Or turn into, if anything. I can't promise that I will actually write anything. But for now, this is helping me cross something off that checklist in my mind so that I may, eventually, go to sleep.

Getting Real... Tight

This month is the first month I haven't gotten paid, and, to put it mildly, I'm terrified. Our mortgage payment goes through tomorrow, and Ryan and I will have about $400 to our names until he gets paid NEXT Thursday. I have NO idea how we are going to make it.

So I'm a little late...

It all started with that statement and it's quite apropos as the title of this entry since I am a week away from my third trimester.

Ryan, my husband, and I assumed we'd start having kids when we turned 30. Seemed like a nice, solid time to have kids. We' be grown up at that point. Obviously, that is not the case.

I was a little late, but that was par for course for me, really. I wasn't really worried about it; in fact, I asked Ryan to pick up a pregnancy test when he picked up beer more as a joke than anything else. I took it in our upstairs bathroom, barely paying it any attention. I'd had a few "near misses", so I was an old pro at taking the test. Of course, when I saw that faint blue line, I scrambled to find the directions I'd just half-hazardly flung into the trashcan. The line was there, no mistaking it, but it didn't look like the control line. Yes, I read the directions which explicitly state that any line at all means you are pregnant. I still wasn't convinced.

I jumped into my car and drove to the grocery store, bought a test that had parallel lines instead of crossing ones and cried all the way home. When I took the test again, Ryan was the one who looked.