Wretched Returns

Diet Coke: 1.5
Cookies: 3
Money Spent: $100 or so

Well, we did it. Ryan, Henry and I ventured out to return and exchange a few things and, while not a total nightmare, was about as stress-free as a cavity filling.

We stopped by DSW so that Ryan could exchange a pair of shoes EXCEPT Ryan found out too late that his shoes ACTUALLY came from Macy's. Neat. So off we went to Tyson's Corner Mall and, as anyone who has an infant will know, shopping, no matter how seemingly easy, is never quick nor simple. Luckily, shopping with two people and an infant is a million times easier than with only one person. While Ryan exchanged his 7 jeans--did I mention he's metro?--I went to feed Henry.

A quick diversion about breastfeeding in public. Never fun. Never something you want to do. I have nothing against women who thoughtlessly whip out their boob to feed, but it's something I just don't feel comfortable with and I'm sure other aren't comfortable witnessing. Unless I'm surrounded by women who've breastfed themselves, I'd prefer to keep it under wraps, so to speak. Thankfully, the women's bathroom at Nordstrom has a lounge and we only had one woman who walked in and quickly scuttled away after realizing what I was up to.

With Henry fed, we set off to Ann Taylor so that I could exchange my big girl clothes for fat girl clothes. Unfortunately, they were all out of fat girl clothes, so I had to just accept merchandise credit. Which I did with my tail between my legs because I didn't want Ryan to suspect that it bothered me. Crestfallen, I set off to Macy's so that Ryan could get his shoes and cologne. What a shitshow. Shopping two days after Christmas with an infant is my own personal hell. People see a stroller and seem to think I am agile and able to quickly maneuver out of their way. Bastards.



Now. The coup de grace was Tiffany's. Ryan got me the Bean necklace for a Christmas gift and late push present. (I called Henry Bean from the day I learned I was pregnant, so the Bean necklace was perfect. I will nickname our next baby Yurman). Of course the necklace he got me was more like a choker than a necklace, so I had to get a longer chain. When I walked in, there was a man standing at the door with a list. I put my name on the list and enjoyed looking around at all the gorgeous jewelry. For 20 minutes. After that, I was done. Ryan was in the car with Henry, and I was starving. 40 minutes later, I finally heard my name called. A lovely woman came to help me, but after I told her I just needed a longer chain, she sent me to customer service. Where there was another line. I immediately started crying and ran out of the store. I mean, REALLY!?!?! I'm still not sure what I could've done differently to have avoided that wait, but needless to say I came home and drank a beer. And then two more.

Anyone have a similar nightmare? Were you as stupid as me to have brought an infant with you?