The Threshold of Hell

Holy Blogger, bless me for I have sinned. It has been eight days since my last confession.

As the title of my post may indicate, I have, indeed, reached the threshold of hell and lived to speak of it. Like Dante and his nine circles of hell, I too have ventured to special nooks and crannies of hell this week that Mr. Dante forgot to mention.

Circle 2.25- Sick Children: Henry is usually (somewhat) well-tempered. However, being under the weather, he has the nasty disposition of a... well... me. Impatient. Hot-tempered. Grouchy. Sooo who wants to be my friend?

Circle 2.50- Sick & Pregnant with a Sick Toddler: Henry is an awesome viral cesspool and managed to contaminate me OR my doctor is right and this tropical weather we are having really is having a field day with my immune system. Either way, I haven't felt great. I'm feeling better now, as is he THANKS BE, but the lingering mucous is really annoying. Gone are the days when you could call in from work and watch Lifetime movies while popping DayQuil. No, you must silently suffer when you are pregnant.

Circle 2.75- Sick & Pregnant with a Sick Toddler & running errands: I love planning for trips. I hate the constant trips to the store because you realized that it's not practical to lug a 3 lb. Costco size of laundry detergent all the way to the beach and you need a smaller tub of detergent. Henry screams a lot of the time in the store.

Circle 10- PACKING: This act deserves its own circle. Packing is the worst. WORST. You have to fit everything in a suitcase and then pray that every thing fits in the car. I have a pile of "if it fits" items like beach chairs and Ryan's suitcase. Priorities.

I feel I can be a little negative nancy today because tomorrow I'LL BE AT THE BEACH! (sober) BUT AT THE BEACH!


 

First Shiner

Busy day. In 24 hours, Henry earned his first shiner and spiked a temperature of 100.6. The two are unrelated, according to our pediatrician, who was, incidentally, also Ryan's pediatrician. "If he's anything like his father, there's a lot more of those shiners where that came from." Oh, but he's so much like his father.

Despite my stamping down on the new mat I put down in the tub, it gave out and Henry smacked the side of the tub. I will be speaking to the people at Bed, Bath, & Beyond and encouraging them not to continue to buy these mats as they are not "non-slip". Allegations.

As for the temperature, Henry apparently has a cold. In the summer. And why not? We're just leaving for a family reunion Friday. No big. Those are going to be sooooome pictures...

Henry's Big Boy Room- BEFORE

I've mentioned in previous posts that I've been tinkering away at Henry's big boy room in order to have the nursery ready for baby #2 this October. Ideally, I'd like to have everything done by the end of September so that October can be spent doing last minute crazy nesting projects. This means I have about three months to get the two rooms ready. Totally doable, but still daunting.

Before you look at the pictures, let me preface that I have already started. No judgey Judies allowed. It never looked like this before, but I didn't take any before pictures before I actually started the whole process.

I've gone through the guest room closet and given away seven bags of clothes and sheets. I've gone through some storage under the bed, and I've started removing pictures from the wall and bringing in items I plan on putting up in Henry's finished room. So without further ado:

You can see from the picture that Henry will be going straight from a crib to a queen-sized bed. This has me a little nervous. 

Henry's clothes will be going into this antique dresser, which will need to be cleaned out. Right now it's filled mostly with gift wrap and gift boxes. Check out the cute lamp that my sister-in-law is letting me borrow! Neat! Also check out the space bag that's waiting to be filled. Boo! Notice the fan. It was 92 degrees yesterday, and I'm wearing an incubator on my abdomen. No further explanation necessary, I hope.

 The closet is a little sad at the moment. I'm taking those clothes you see on the left and moving them to the upper right-hand part of the closet to make room for... I have no idea. After filling up the dresser, I don't anticipate a need for a lot of hang-up space. I think it's always good to have extra room, just in case. Three cheers for getting rid of so many clothes!

The bins I found at Costco and will be used for Henry's toys. I think the upper left-hand part of the closet will be used to put the clear storage bins with hand-me-down clothes. They won't fit in the nursery closet as of now.  I'd like to also have an empty bin there with a ready-to-fill space bag for those clothes that don't fit Henry. No more piling in a stack for later-- just straight to the source!

The top shelf will serve as a home for seasonal clothing for Henry, I think.

The middle color is the one we're painting Henry's room. It's Behr's Sparkling Spring, but reminds me a lot of Charleston Blue. It looks a little blue in some lighting, a little gray in others. I know most kids get brighter colored rooms, but that's just not my style. I like soft colors mostly. I think this is a nice, soothing blue that will serve as a nice backdrop to the artwork we have. Also-- just thought of this one-- when we buy a new place sometime this decade, I won't feel like we'd need to paint this room to make it palatable for potential buyers.

Ahh... yes. This is Henry's future reading nook, I think. Those pictures on the floor and on the wall will go in that top empty storage bin once I buy some bubble wrap. The railing is all set to go for Henry's bed, as you can see. I'll probably end up painting that chair, but since I'm not entirely sure how we're going to rearrange the room, I'll wait.

This is at the bottom of my list, but once the room is all set up, if there's wall space, I would like to mod podge the back of this shelf to cover up the stars and put picture frames and other cutesy stuff up. In case you are wondering, yes that is an old cassette tape case for Vanilla Ice, tape missing. Who's the coolest blogger NOW?

In this corner, I have a few of Henry's pictures for his wall. The one on the antique table I picked up recently from Target. The one on the floor is my sister-in-law's that I will probably use as a valance. Sad plant will have to find a new home, as will the lamp, table, and coasters. 

As you can see, I have my work cut out for me. As I've been working, I've kept a list of things I need for the room or to store items that are finding new homes. Mostly, I just need someone to watch Henry so that I can get some work done. Right now, I feel like I'm taking two steps forward and one step back. For each task I get done, Henry has created a new one for me while I've been busy. When school lets out, my teenage neighbor will have a lot of babysitting opportunities!

Wish me luck in the process!

What I Am Looking Forward to...

I have been in a funk for the past few hours. I finally made it to Body Pump and now I have this pain in my neck. (I will spare you from any 'pain in the neck' jokes).

One of my favorite books of all time-- and I'm a tough critic, having been a high school English teacher-- is Gretchen Rubin's The Happiness Project. (Big shout out to my friend, Casey, who knows my taste in books and sent it to me). I don't remember which chapter or what resolution made me start doing this, but ever since I read the book two years ago, I've kept a mental "Things to Look Forward to" list in my head. Sometimes I think of things by the week, and sometimes I think of things I'm looking forward to in the months ahead. Whenever I'm in a mood like I'm in now, I always think of the things I have to look forward to in order to spring myself out of my little emo cave.

I thought I'd share and maybe inspire you to keep a 'look forward to' list as well:

June:

• Beach Planning Trip tomorrow night (*like Rubin says, sometimes it's the preparation and anticipation of an event that brings you joy as well as the actual event itself).
• Family Reunion this weekend (some people put 'fun' in dysfunctional, but my family puts the 'it's on' in dysfunctional. We out fun people).
• Sigma Kappa Beach Trip 2012... hahahaha :)

July:

• 4th... nothing beats 4th of July in the DMV (DC, Metro, and VA)
• Henry's 2nd Birthday*
• SD and SC family coming to visit
• Nashville Bachelorette Party!!!

August:

• Our 6th wedding anniversary (!)
• a vast openness of nothing planned

September:

• Henry starts preschool (!!!!!)
• Final preparations for baby #2
• Buying a van- yes. I can't wait. more on that in a future post.

October

• Baby #2-Hoooooly moly!
• My friends, Hollis and Ricky, are due with their baby!
• My friend Jen's wedding
• Halloween- it's the start to the holidays AND I get to dress up two little monkeys this year! 

That's as far as I am thinking. Baby #2 coming is pretty much all I need to think about to really cheer me up-- and it's worked! I'm already out of my funk. Now off to see what I can do about this pain in the neck.

How to Travel with Kids and Not Lose Your Mind

Amongst everything else I have going on, I also have a beach trip in about two weeks that I have to prepare for.

In the past, I just packed a bunch of clothes, flip-flops, and bikinis (ha!) along with piles of magazines and books. BOOM. Ready. For those of you who still get to do this, STAY HERE AS LONG AS YOU CAN.

For the the rest of us suckers, here are some tips I've garnered from my trips to Ohio and South Carolina to visit the relatives:

PLAN:
This is the most important step. You can't just throw your kid(s) in the car and drive with reckless abandon. Actually, I guess you could, but you would just have to have the patience of a saint. And the ears of Helen Keller.

Seriously, you need to plan. What are you going to do when you get where you are going? What will you and the family need to wear and bring to be ready for that? Do you need to make reservations anywhere? Does your car need to be serviced (snicker)?

Do not plan on driving at night to beat traffic and the kids can sleep. I mean, think about it. When the kids wake up all refreshed from sleeping you will be... ready to start taking shots of 5 Hour Energy? Don't do that to yourself, crazy. I speak from experience.

For things to do and where to stay go to http://www.wejustgotback.com/. It's not the easiest website to navigate, but they were mentioned in Forbes, so they must be doing something right.

I also recommend searching for and following travel sites on twitter. For example, if you are going to Hilton Head, (no that's not where I'm going in two weeks, creeper), look for people with the name of Hilton Head in the title. Lots of (smart) companies have twitter accounts and post deals, discounts and events for people who follow them. Ryan got to play a cheap (for Hilton Head) game of golf, thanks to me. What's that? You don't have a twitter account? You know... I can only help you so much. Get it together. And follow me @jacstormy, for the love.

After you've figured all that out, go to http://www.travelmamas.com/pages/packing_lists.html and get her packing lists. From there, figure out what you need to buy and launder. While you are there, you should look around because she's the boss.

It's cool, Mom. I got this leg. Just get me more coffee.

PREP:
Speaking of buying, I happened upon the website https://www.travelkiddy.com/. It actually makes me angry that I did not know about this website sooner. I mean, do you know how hard it is to entertain an immobile toddler for 8 hours? There was a point in time when I would've gladly set my hair of fire to avoid traveling with children. Well, put the matches down because this website has travel toys and activities categorized by age group. When it comes to actually buying the toys, I recommend going to amazon.com if you have amazon prime. If you do not, you need to look at your life and look at the choices you are making because frankly I am starting to question them.

If your kids are older, you can always try what my sister-in-law does. She goes to the Dollar Store in advance and buys one toy for every hour of the trip, per child. So when she drives up to see us from South Carolina, she buys 14 toys and gives both boys a toy every hour of the trip. Baby Corbin gets a snuggle.

Heck, yes I still have a pacifier.

                                   
PLAY:

If you find that by some miracle you are running ahead of schedule and have some time to kill before your hotel or rental house opens up, go to http://www.onthewayapp.com/. Type in your location and destination and a bunch of attractions pop up. Lots of  restaurants, movie theaters, and historical sites for you to keep the children occupied while you beg the concierge to let you in early.

Once you are in and settled, consider going off the beat and path for meals. Melissa Kronenthal from http://www.travelerslunchbox.com/ recommends googling your destination and "food blog". With a little bit of searching, you can find some great places to eat and not fall into the tourist trap restaurant with expensive crap food. I recommend checking to see if they offer carry-out or, better yet, delivery.

Speaking of delivery, if you are doing anything outdoorsy, consider renting the equipment you need to save yourself room while traveling. I know from watching Real Housewives of Beverly Hills that you can actually have your skis and boots delivered to you. And score a date, apparently. I know that I'm seriously considering having our beach chairs and umbrella delivered. But not because I want to score a date from a beach bum.

While you are doing all this cool stuff, be sure to keep some of the tickets and brochures you get while you're there. Pinterest has a metric cajillion of projects to make with all your memorabilia.

 

If you have any other suggestions, by all means, please help a sister out. Hope your children are good and you are bad. Happy travels.

What I'm Getting into

To Henry, 4:30 a.m. is the new 6:30 a.m. Lucky me. I tell you this so that you forgive me for any obfuscations I create in this entry. BOOM. Just used a Tim Gunn word. Nice.

Anyways, my lack of sleep has apparently riled up some of my ADD-like tendencies (ADDlt), so today I have been all over the place. 

Ryan is gone. Again. This time he's gone on a wild and wonderful golf outing in West Virginia for a bachelor party. I'm not complaining because at least it's not in Vegas this time. Not even going to get into the disaster that was. Plus, I am going to Nashville next month for a bachelorette party. (Should be interesting when I'm almost seven months pregnant). So I am woman of the house and have decided this is the perfect time to steam clean the carpets AND clean out the closets in my guest bedroom to make room for Henry. Keep in mind, I have finished neither project, thanks to Henry and my ADDlt.

In addition to home improvement, I decided a little self-improvement was in order. I kicked my ass at the gym and feel this was not the smartest thing to do when a) you are pregnant b) you are running on only five hours of sleep c) do not have any back up to help you when your back&feet&legs are killing you. Imbecile. I've also started keeping up with my food journal again to ensure I don't pack on too many pregnancy pounds. This is also time consuming, but thankfully, Henry has been very understanding*.  

My point is I've got a lot going on. I don't have the energy to post pictures, and frankly, I don't think you want to see before pictures of where Gus vomited on the carpet although I have them if you're interested. I also forgot to take before pictures of the guest bedroom so when I take pictures now, you're going to think I'm a perfect candidate for Hoarders and turn me in. 

I think I've touched on a few different posts you can look forward to: vomit clean-up progress, hoarder's guest bedroom progress, and Henry's bootcamp. Oh, if there's a more exciting blog than this out there, I don't know where to find it*. Stay tuned, eager readers.

(*Psych)

20 wk ultrasound. It's a ... !

BABY! Wahoo!

The big man. So pumped to see his little brother/sister (no, not really).

Today was my 20-- well, 21 week-- ultrasound. After some deliberation, Ryan and I decided not to find out the gender and let it be a surprise just like we did with Henry. Let me tell you, it is not easier the second time around to decide this. If anything, it's harder. Do we unpack all the boy clothes? Do we go get little girl clothes? Do I add rosey pink pillows and ribbons to the nursery? Or just keep it as it is?

Ultimately, it doesn't matter. Whether I buy girl clothes before or after the baby is born makes no difference. I have a lot of gender neutral clothing since Henry was a surprise, so that will get us through the first few weeks. If it's a boy, well, check. I've found a spot in Henry's big boy room to keep hand-me-downs, and I'll probably keep the clothes there no matter what. Jeans are jeans. White onesies are white onesies. Socks are socks.

One of the best parts of waiting to find out the gender is the guessing. EVERYONE has an opinion. Even the bitchface who works at Pottery Barn Kids who likes to tell you she thinks you're having a girl because you gained weight all over. (ERR! WRONG! Henry was a boy. I was just fat, thanks). I've decided I'm going to keep track, and we can see who is right in about three and half months.

Mother's Intuition: GIRL
Chinese Gender Predictor: GIRL
Parents Quiz: BOY
BabyZone Quiz: GIRL
Beverly at Costco (who was right with Henry): GIRL

So far, a girl is in the lead. I need to go get my nails done because the woman who did my nails worked at a hospital in Vietnam and "learned to tell" that way. She was right with Henry! I'm considering buying one of those gender predictor kits off Amazon, but they seem shady. I know they don't REALLY work, but it's still fun.

Please don't misinterpret my waiting to see what we have as me not being a planner. I am a planner, and I will plan a convenient date to cut you if you tell me that you "Would have to find out what you are having because you are such a planner". I'm dying inside to know, but once you've had the excitement of finding out the gender AND meeting your child for the first time it's hard to imagine separating the two. I feel like the second pregnancy isn't always treated as special as the first pregnancy, so keeping the double whammy surprise is my best effort in making it special. Even though it's killing me, and I straight up told the technician I wouldn't be mad if she slipped up and told me what I was having, we are waiting... and she didn't slip up. Damn.

Announcement

I've been meaning to post this for a while, but haven't gotten around to it. I really must be crazy because Ryan and I are expecting a baby this October! This time, it was not a surprise. Henry was a surprise. I'm realizing now that I didn't finish that blog post, but I will get around to it someday.

Anyway, this pregnancy is super different in a few ways:

1. I had really strong food aversions the first trimesters (no meat!!!)
2. I was nauseous all day, but no throwing up, thanks be to God.
3. I am exhausted constantly even though it's the second trimester
4. I have no patience and a horrible temper--worse than usual.
5. I don't really have food cravings. I just started getting super hungry around 16 weeks.

Only threw up once, thank God

Poor Ryan has had to deal with my food preferences, mood swings, and exhaustion-- another reason the house is a mess. I told him our relationship will be much better if he started treating me like a geriatric woman with Tourette's. Henry is undoubtedly learning all kinds of cuss words. I feel sorry for his preschool teacher.

I am 20 weeks and have a doctor's appointment in about 2 hours and my 20 week ultrasound tomorrow! Woowoo! I've got to hop in the shower and get moving. Wish me luck!

Summer Docket

Today is my last day of work, and I can't wait to get started on my summer docket. I was inspired to do this after seeing a picture on Pinterest.

What a good idea! Every summer, I say I want to go to Movies on the Mall or ride the train at Burke Lake. Every summer, I don't find the time. Not this summer! One thing I've learned about myself, though, is that I have to spend time decorating a can and then buying clothes pins and then writing my things to do in cute colors, I'm not going to do it. Let's be real. This is just not going to happen. Making a list and checking things off is more my speed:

This I can handle. Except for the Comic Sans font. Just seeing this font makes me angry, which is beginning to be a problem since my church's bulletin is printed using Comic Sans. I can't help it. Comic Sans sets loose a Pavlovian kill reflex within me. So nix the font, but yay to the list. (And let's be real. I'm only using one font color).

The other thing I have to lose is the Bucket List part of the task. I'm not one of those inherently cheerful people. I don't fear darkness and cynicism, but I don't like the idea of a bucket list. It seems morbid to me. I don't want to have to explain to Henry the euphemism of "kicking the bucket" when I tell him all the fun things we are going to be doing. It's just a downer to me.

Instead, I'd like to call my list the Summer Docket. First of all, the word docket is fabulous. I had the pleasure of taking a linguistics class in grad school, so I can appreciate a word with a good alveolar and velar stop. Plus, when I had to go to court when George lost his dog tags (long story, but I had to prove George was street legal in a courtroom where people were convicted of distributing narcotics and manslaughter), I learned to appreciate the value of a list so powerful, it could keep convicted criminals in order. 

Yes, Summer Docket is just perfect. Here, are a few of the things on my docket for the summer:

1. Go to a Movie under the Moon

2. Go see The Lincoln Memorial

3. Go to the National Children's Museum

4. Date Night for Mom and Dad at least once a month

5. Host or go to a playdate once a week

6. Go to a petting zoo

7. Ride the train at Burke Lake

8. Make a book

9. Frame some art of Henry's

10. Take Henry to the driving range with Daddy

I'm going to talk to Ryan to see what he wants to add, but then I'll print it out in a non-offensive font and put it in the kitchen so that I can make the most out of summer. Watch out summer, here we come!

Henry's List of May Favorites

It's been a while since I did a Henry's Top Ten, so I've got a lot of new favorites to add. Here goes:

1. The Pool- I'm raising the next Michael Phelps. The child can't get enough. Ryan has already decided we are paying $200 for a private swim instructor. Just to remind you, Henry is 23 months old. $200 wisely spent...false.

2. Baby Pool- Playing in the baby pool is Henry's favorite thing to do if he can't go to the real pool. Thanks to the lame ass pool hours, we can't go to the pool until 4 o'clock Monday through Friday until school lets out in two weeks. Booo...

Skinny dipping. And drinking pool water that he probably peed in.

3. Pool Water- I think this warrants its own listing in the top ten chart. I'm not sure what he loves more, swimming in the pool or drinking the water.

4. Vehicles- I was going to type trucks, then I decided that was too limiting. Henry doesn't just love trucks; he loves trucks, cars, tractors, vans, helicopters, boats, planes, trains... you get the idea. I think it goes without saying that his big boy room will be a planes, trains, and automobiles decor.

This is how he likes to play with his cars and trucks and Nana and Opa's house. Thanks Opa for keeping it real and playing Pop music.

5. Sugar- Ladies and gentlemen, we have a problem. It seems the child refuses to eat anything that does not contain at least 20 grams of sugar, which is a problem since according to the U.S. Department of Agriculture, a 4 to 8 year old kid should not consume more than 15 to 18 grams of sugar per day. Again, Henry is 23 months. I guess I shouldn't be surprised since while I was pregnant with him I craved cake, cookies, and brownies. Stay tuned to a future post on me putting my foot down. 

That is Nana feeding his "chocy" craving. Thanks, Nana.

6. Sleeping like a Boss- I mean, I WISH I could sleep like this. I'm seriously thinking about investing in a California King at this point in my life. Look at how content he is? This is what playing at the pool does to my child. Thank you, Jesus. 

7. The Metro- despite the risk of being contaminated with Hepatitis C, I love public transportation as does Henry. It was a total hit. I'm already plotting our next Family Field Trip to, at the very least, watch my husband break out in fits of OC Purelling. 

8. Slides- My favorite part of the playground was the swing. The swing is not good enough for Henry, though. No, swings are too safe, too confining. He prefers to slide with reckless abandon. He prefers not to have me catch him at the bottom and loves landing on his butt. I'm concerned he's going to be one of those X-Game imbeciles when he grows up and take up some extreme sport. Or worse, UFC fighting. Oh, God. Pass the Xanex.

 9. Jake and the Neverland Pirates- This show is only mildly irritating compared to the-show-that-must-not-be-mentioned. The only reason I don't want to set my hair on fire watching it is because it reminds me of Peter Pan and Peter Pan reminds me of Tinkerbell and Tinkerbell is awesome.  Plus, now that I'm being productive while Henry watches TV and eats, so I don't have to hide the matches anymore (I know. Henry watches TV while he eats. Henry is due for a bootcamp soon. Stay tuned).

10. Saying No- I thought I would be lucky to dodge this bullet, but it's here. Saying NO is one of Henry's favorite things even when he means yes. I gave him a Flavor Ice popsicle and he kept saying no, but once I shoved it in his mouth he said, "WOOOOW! MMMMmmm!" Yes, child. Except that's real fruit juice and not corn syrup, so I kind of got you. Unfortunately, the shoving food into his mouth method has not worked for me with vegetables. Damn.