Jonesing

Henry went to a playdate today with his friend, Evan, from the gym. Yes. The gym. Where he lifts weights and gets swoll.

Anyways, I was a little cranky about having to drive 15 miles for a play date. Ryan's been giving me lip lately about driving the car too much (our definition of "stay at home mom" is a little different as someone takes that a smidge literally). I was driving through the depths of Woodbridge/Hoodbridge when, like a phoenix rising from the ashes, the lovely Port Potomac Community appeared. Manicured lawns. Wrap-around porches. Picket fences. Boats in every other garage. I knew the drive was worth it.

Henry shot out of the car so fast I'm surprised he kept his shoes on. There was bubbles, hand made sidewalk chalk paint, a Fisher Price lawnmower, freedom, and a great yard. Henry was mostly interested in the freedom and tried to run away every chance he got, but he had a great time until he tired of attempting to escape. He started to get a little melty (ie: pre-meltdown) when my friend, Brandi, suggested we go inside.

Wow. Now, I've always been content with my townhouse. I feel like we're in a great suburb of D.C. and it takes about 20 minutes to get anywhere (sans traffic) whether it be the mall or The Mall. I've always wondered why people would sacrifice location for a bigger house. Not anymore.

This beauty had four bedrooms, two living rooms, a dining room, HUGE KITCHEN breakfast nook, four and a half baths, upstairs laundry unit, and-- best of all-- a toy room.

I loved that Brandi and I could sit and talk and the boys could run around with reckless abandon. I thought of my house... our living room doubles as a toy room. Actually, every room of the house doubles as a toy room. How nice would it be to have one location dedicated as a toy room? How nice would it be to have a yard for Henry to try to escape from?

Let the plotting begin.

Henry's List of February Favorites

I know. I haven't been on in a while, stop giving me shit about it already. But, I saw this idea on Pinterest and decided this would be the perfect place to do this! I'm going to keep track of Henry's favorites each month to have in my back pocket, if I ever need it, to prove that I am a good(ish) mother.

So, here goes. Henry's Top Ten Favorites of February:

1. Dancing. I feel like this will always be number one, but his Superbowl halftime performance was exceptional, so I have to put it on this month. Here's a clip. Please ignore any negative comments about Madonna. She was awesome.

2. Rio*. Busted. In theory, TV is horrible for your 19 month old. In actuality, it's fun to curl up with your usually non-curl-upable toddler and watch a movie. This is the first movie that he sat through. Ever. Of course, he didn't sit the whole time. He had to dance with the music. Obvi.
* That's right, bitches. I italicized a movie. Because that's what you do when you refer to a movie/book/play/album title/etc. Send it along to your ignorant mo-fo friends.

3. Basketball. Now, when they pulled out the little hoop at his gym class, I knew he enjoyed it. However, I put two-and-two together today when he was playing with the remote and stopped turning the channels when basketball came on. Women's. High School. The child was transfixed. I wish I could give you a length of time for how long he watched it, but I couldn't take it anymore. 20 minutes was all I could take. Needless to say, I know now he loves basketball. Ryan and I promptly went to Toy R Us today and bought him his own hoop. Let's just hope he doesn't play like I do, or he could have a very frustrating career.

4. Chips Ahoy minis. I blame only myself. Sigh.

5. Play-Doh. Thank GOD he finds some kind of artsy-craftsy activity entertaining. He only seems to enjoy coloring when it's on the walls. Finger painting entertains him for maaaaaybe five minutes, and it takes 30 minutes to scrub the paint off him. He is digging the Play-Doh, especially when he throws it on the kitchen floor. He loves the sound of it.

6. Apple Juice. He's always loved it, but thanks to an ear infection, he's rediscovered it. We went to lunch today, and I ordered him a kids' size cup of it. He crushed it. Wow. Like Fuller and his Pepsi. (Home Alone*, anyone?)

7. The un-even bars. Didn't see this one coming, did you? Well, yes. Henry loves the un-even bars, apparently. So much so, that when we were at his Little Gym class, he actually bitch slapped me when Miss Anne asked for some space so that she could adjust the bars. Which brings me to,

8. Bitch slapping.  I'm feeling a bit anxious because I'm sure this word needs to be hyphenated, but it's not in the dictionary. Anyways, yes. Henry is not as verbal as I think he'd like to be, but it's cool. A swift bitch-slap (let's just hyphenate it for shit's sake), really lets people know, "Hey, I don't appreciate you standing in the way of me running in the middle of the street" or "Dude. I was going to eat that twig covered in dirt. There are starving people in China."

9. Playgrounds. I know this seems obvious, but it's not. He just likes watching the big kids and being a creeper and following them around. It's heartbreaking to watch because he's...just...not...quite...fast enough to keep up.

10. LMFAO. Ok, I know. This goes hand in hand with #1, but it's late and I just thought of it. He passed out in the car on the way back from Toys R Us (where he bitch-slapped Ryan for taking him out of his Mercedes Power Wheels) and woke up out of a dead sleep when "Party Rockin'" came on. Then, Ryan put glasses on him, and he just knew you were supposed to be a baller and suddenly be too cool to dance. You know, because you have sunglasses on.

Now, I'm not promising to write more, but I think I can promise to at least update Henry's Favorites. I'll need it when defending why I'm not buying him a Mercedes SUV when he's 16. I'm a good mother. I'm a good mother... just repeat.