A Modest Confession

I have a confession. I am annoyed I don't know the sex of our baby. THERE! I said it. I went from being sure I didn't want to know when we first got pregnant, to not so sure at 6 months, to downright pissed off about a month ago. Now, I'm just frustrated. To clarify, my frustration has nothing to do with the fact that I am a planner, as I have already mentioned. Rather, it's more to do with the difference between your first and second pregnancy.

With your first pregnancy, you are (perhaps after a brief period of initial disdain and then gradual acceptance like this girl experienced) excited and eager to learn about this new, unchartered territory. You revel in buying maternity clothes that are cute, and by cute, I mean hideous. You register for all kinds of crap you will never use and are showered with toys, clothes, bottles, and 18, 987 baby bath items that you did not register for. You are going to be the best, most attentive mom ever. And then you actually have the child.

Enter second pregnancy. You know the terrain. You don't feel the need to read 8, 876 books on pregnancy, labor, and taking care of an infant (or was that just me?). You have all the equipment and gear, along with about 15, 387 unused washcloths that Target would not take back because you'd already met your refund limit. (DO NOT REGISTER AT TARGET). You have Hideous Maternity Clothes and are just determined to stay out of them as long as possible this time. What you don't have is the excitement of entering an exclusive club/unknown realm or whatever. You do not have showers. People actually forget you are pregnant until they see you. You don't have as much help from others because, hey, you are a pro at this, right?

I guess, for me, I think that if I had found out Moose's gender, I would have at least that going for me. I didn't have that the first go round, and it would make this pregnancy different. I know I'm probably going to change my mind after I give birth, but for now, I'm a little salty. I want to buy some monogrammed stuff now, dammit!

I don't think I'd feel this way if we had found out Henry's gender while I was pregnant with him. Then, NOT knowing the sex would be the exciting part, but this pregnancy is just like the last one, minus the washcloths. (Am I the only person who received an obscene amount of freaking washcloths?)

Again, I will probably say once Moose is born, that it was TOTALLY WORTH IT! I'll probably have a post entitled "I Take It All Back", after say...Saturday night when I go into labor, (right little lady/fella?). But right now, I'm okay with admitting that I maybe should've found out the sex of our baby. Sigh.